Guest Blogger!

Merry Christmas, readers, today we have a guest blogger! Take a look, we quite like him.


Hey, Tanky here. I guess a good opener would be to explain who I am (I'll try to sound as if I don’t love myself too much). I’m the latest competition winner Nathan Davidson and I thought that as these guys have rewarded me for merely following their concise adventures into the electronic world of gaming (wasn't really that hard, the trick is too be a closet nerd like myself who cant openly talk about these things with college friends without getting funny looks).

Tanky

So, I'm going to go into depth about my recent influx of overly enjoyed gaming since I started again a few months back, kick started by one of the most anticipated games of 2011!, (yes, you've probably already guessed it by now) SKYRIM!

With merely a few hours before release my girlfriend announces that “I don’t want you to have to wait until Christmas to play Skyrim”, Which to any gamer, Is like a dream come true, So never the less I began my adventures and in no less than 48 hours the main quest, the dark brotherhood and the thieves guild were finished. Due to an added feature known as ‘Shouts’ and the fact all games are becoming ever more user friendly (known to us gamers as ‘being easier’), I found my adventures in Skyrim more fluid and there was very little in the way (other than a few puzzles that anyone with the cognitive strength of a slug could figure out). But, I would like to continue this post by adding the many aspects of the game I have enjoyed…

Lycanthropy
(the werewolf curse)

(best bonus) Immunity to disease including the most annoying of the Elder Scrolls universe Sanguinare Vampiris (the vampire curse).
(Bonuses while in beast form) Increased melee damage with a range of +5 to +60 when in beast form depending on level.
Increased dexterity with the opportunity to run on all fours in beast form.


Shouts
(the utterance of words of power and the resulting effect)

On completion of the game you now get to use 2 very useful shouts when in a stcky situation such as being cornered…
Call Dragon- Od (snow) – Ah (Hunter) – Viing (Wing) “Odahviing! Hear my voice and come forth. I summon you in my time of need.” This summons the dragon Odahviing (aka Alduin’s sidekick) to help you in battle.
Call Of Valor- Hun (Hero) – Kaal (Champion) – Zoor (Legend) Each level of this shouts summons a different hero of Sovngarde (The ones that banished Alduin into the future). Hun – Gormlaith Golden-Hilt (who wields bows/sword/shields and shouts) Hun, Kaal – Felldir The Old (Who wields a Great sword and a number of damage inflicting shouts) Hun, Kaal, Zoor – Hakon One-Eye (who wields a Battle Axe and uses Melee Shouts)

Mining

Although this may seem like a pointless nod of appreciation to other fantasy veterans such as the ever popular but underrated Runescape or the classic and the modern MMORPG versions of Warcraft. Mining has become a useful tool in Skyrim due to two simple facts, The mines are everywhere and Pickaxes are light to carry (Which basically makes this like finding a ten pound note on your way to earn money. A HAPPY BONUS). This was the contributing factor to why I was probably one of the first people I know to achieve the 100,000 gold achievement on my Xbox 360. Along with this goes the ability to smelt your ore into bars, and in turn create items to sell for a higher price. Your patience really does pay off in Skyrim.

Cooking

Throughout my journeys in Skyrim, I discovered my favourite recipes for a useful item and through the most un-used skill at my disposal, Cooking. The Two I would like to share with you are:

Elswyr Fondue
(Ale,Eidar Cheese Wheel, Moon Sugar) Which fortifies magicka 100/12m and regenerates magicka 25%/12m
Horker Stew
(Garlic, Horker Meat, Lavender, Tomato) Which restores 15 health and 15 stamina and also regenerates health 1/12m


Now for a little summary of the ever popular and my favourite aspect of the elder scrolls games, The Dark Brotherhood. again filled with deception, plot twists and this time …. brace yourself… YOU MEET THE NIGHT MOTHER AND WORK DIRECTLY FOR HER!
For those of you that wish to seek this quest line the first meeting that may occur is by a small farm North of Whiterun, The meeting is strange your are confronted on your journey by a weird man, who talks like a psychopath and is dressed accordingly in a medieval court jesters apparel and his carriage (WHICH HARBOURS THE NIGHT MOTHERS BODY).

That is all for today.

PEACE

FUS RO...

Here's another update from a very irritated and miffed Valhalla. I planned on tonight's Skyrim adventure being peaceful and with as little stress as possible. Yeah, like I ever get what I want in games. Tonight was the total opposite of everything I wanted. It was filled with fury, stress and disappointment. Tonight was the worst night of Skyrim ever experienced. You know what makes it worse? My laptop killed ALL the screen I took and so it's a pictureless post. I'll find those pictures, I will. I'm sorry about the lack of screenshots.

I woke up in a warm bed in Whiterun, ready to conquer all that stood in my path. I was able to purchase both a house and horse, and did so rather quickly. I decorated my home with every piece of furniture imaginable and my servant-slave-woman moved in with me (she has a weird habit of sitting in my bedroom). Everything seemed alright at this point, I had everything I wanted, had purchased my horse and was well on my way to success. What could go wrong? I tell you that a lot can go wrong.

I realized that I hadn't yet returned the Golden Claw and figured that I should probably take a trip down to Riverwood to deliver that to its rightful owner. Dragging my woman, Lydia, along with me we travelled back to the little village Hadvar had take me to not so long ago. It was actually quite nice going back to that place, with it's little houses and care-free villagers. However, determined to get on with my main quest I had to hurry my delivery up and so gave the Golden Claw back without delay. He actually seemed quite surprised that I was returning it. I wasn't sure if I should be offended or amused. Once that was returned I was eager to get to the Grey Beards that were waiting for me. I hopped onto my horse and began riding towards my destination as fast as I could.

Lydia and I were pretty underwhelmed by the enemies we encountered - the wild dogs weren't much of a threat. It was only when we came to a forked road that we encountered our most difficult enemy yet. Galloping up the fork, I was expecting to face something when I saw the little steps. However, I was not expecting to face something quite as horrific as what I saw. I hit 'save' just before I attacked the giant troll that stood before me, and I really should have saved a little earlier. The troll took me out in one hit, taking me under the jaw with his massive great club. I fell limp and broken to the ground, and the game went to load at my last save place - right before the beast hit me. There was no escape, for several minutes the beast just kept killing me, my body landing in a different way each time. Unable to escape and angered by what was happening I was forced to start from the autosave - Riverwood. Yay, back here again. Well, at least I know where to save next time and that I should avoid the trolls.

Overcoming my irritation I began my journey again, chatting to an enthusiastic cook on my way, something that certainly lightened my spirits. I was feeling more confident about this one, and made sure to avoid the trolls, killing only the wild dogs that nipped at my horse's legs. As I trotted along the path I heard a chilling roar and the ground shook beneath me. looking into the sky, I saw a massive great dragon swooping through the sky and blotting out the sun with its enormous wings. I was not impressed. Not wanting to run into it, I galloped away, ignoring the cries for help from frightened revellers. Well, I ignored them for a moment. The hero within me rose up and forced me to dismount and see what was up. By the time I reached them they were happily drinking again and offering me mead - which I declined. As there was no more trouble I continued on my way.

It took a while, but I reached my destination eventually. After reaching the little town that was home to the Grey Beards I was expecting them to be sitting in a little wooden hut smoking pipes around an open fire, hot soup in their hands. No, of course not, they're at the top of the seven THOUSAND steps. With a heavy sigh, I dropped my horse at the mountain base and began to climb the seven thousand steps, Lydia following close behind me. We were attacked by wild dogs several times, but nothing prepared me for what was at the top. I saved the game just as a giant yeti-troll came bounding towards me (this situation feels strangely familiar). What happened next? Yes, it killed me and I was stuck in the loop of death again. Filled with Rage, I had to open the autosave at Riverwood, starting my journey all over again.

I was not a happy bunny. I was, in fact, filled with indescribable rage and spitting poisoned tacks. Muttering and mumbling, I got some new and better armour from the smithy before starting all over again, my slave woman trailing behind me. This time, the game froze and I had to take ten to calm down before starting up again. when I did start up again, everything seemed to be running smoothly...until a dragon came and jumped on top of me, snapping me up in his jaws without me being able to do a thing. I could have taken the dragon if he hadn't caught me by surprise. Serious.

With the dragon out of the way (meaning I went back to my last save...not Riverwood), I was able to return to the seven thousand steps and climb them all over again. This time I was a lot more calculated when it came to the yeti-troll, and after several failed attempts I decided to leave Lydia with the monsters and leg it past it, never looking back...you never look back. It worked, and whilst I should have felt bad for leaving my woman behind, I felt nothing and continued on my way. She did not sound impressed when she caught up with me, I may have to watch myself when I'm asleep tonight. Regardless, we finally made it to the Grey Beards, and I have never been happier to see an ominous looking tower in my life. slowly, we climbed the stairs.

The guys inside were very welcoming. They made me shout at them, which felt amazing and impressed them. Convinced I was a Dragonborn, they taught me the second part of my relentless shout (Ro) and also taught me Whirlwind. I really took to those funny little priests, they were very polite and respectful of me. Eager to continue working on me, they gave me a quest to complete, and I happily accepted.

Fellow adventurers, that it where I left off - outside the fortress staring at the sunset with Lydia. Next time, my adventure will continue, hopefully with less problems than before.

Slaying my first dragon

I'm way behind other people with Skyrim - they're always asking me if I've done this and that. It's depressing having so little time to play games at the moment. I haven't even been on WoW for the past week. Anyway, I hat a few hours to play Skyrim tonight, which pleased me greatly. I've been looking forward to slaying my first Dragon for the past week or so. When I was at college, I thought about it. At work, I thought about it. Basically. it hasn't stopped. A can of my good friend Dr. P by my side, and a pair of toasty socks on my feet, I started up Steam and continued with my adventure. I may be writing this at two in the morning, but all those hours of Skyrimming were well worth it.

Irileth was standing in front of me, waiting to tell me what to do next. She was rather abrupt (we never got on very well) and ordered to meet her by the watchtower so that we could take down the dragon that was threatening our lands. Filled with passion and love for Whiterun, I raced on at full speed towards the watchtower, jumping over tall grass and dodging pointy rocks. As I approached the little stone tower, I met up with the guards and Irileth, all of which were relatively pleased to see me. Staying as close to the other soldiers as possible, I surrounded the tower with them, my weapon held firmly in my hands. It was only a matter of seconds before the dragon arrived. Lacking any sense of strategy or thought I raced in there with my mace, hoping to strike the beast in the head with my mighty mace. Yeah, that failed epically. I was cooked like a spit-roasted hog. I decided that the second attempt should be better planned. Best to think before I start getting all heroic and feel like I can destroy anything. I took a moment to think out the second phase, and decided that the best thing to do was to go long range  -which I did. Using my hunting bow I was able to get a good shot and slew the Dragon in a minute or two. Easy stuff, didn't take me long. Despite how simple the battle was, it was absolutely exhilarating, and I cannot wait to kill my next. I am no longer a Dragon slaying virgin. Feels good, I tell you that!

The Dragon was dead, and I was feeling pretty good. Striding over to the corpse of the fallen beast (brimming with confidence, of course), I stood before it ready to loot its body. Suddenly, something strange began to happen. A fiery light surrounded both the Dragon and I, consuming us in a mesmerising, powerful force. The Dragon's flesh began to tear away from its bones and turn into energy, energy that was absorbed by me. I figured this was a pretty weird thing to occur, and judging by the muttering from the guards behind me, I was right. Once I had absorbed the power, I discovered that I had gained the ability to shout like a Dragon - I was pretty pleased by this. The guards were incredibly excited, asking me to shout for them, praising me on my heritage and exclaiming how proud they were to be fighting by my side. I appeased them by shouting at the top of my lungs, with a force so strong that it blew the guards backwards. They were massively impressed by this act and continued to shout my praise.All except that damnable woman, Irileth. She just stood there, unimpressed and telling everyone how she couldn't care less about anything that I was able to do. As long as I could kill Dragons, all was well. Her reaction just irritated me, so I hung out with the guards on my way back to Whiterun. Well, part of the way - they were being far too slow for my liking.

Dragon Slaying makes you thirsty

I made my way back to the Jarl so that I could report my findings to him. On my way, I met some strange looking soldiers, who appeared to be the Skyrim equivalent to a Middle-Eastern soldier, that wanted me to track down a woman from their clan. According to the foreign men she would be going by a different name, and although they refused to tell me why they wanted her, they were offering money for me to return her to them. As they were not welcome in Whiterun, it was up to me to complete the task. However, I'm having a moral problem here, and wonder if it's right for me to hand this woman over. What do you guys think? I also heard a long anti-Elf speech, which I took the time to listen to. Apparently, we Elves are bad creatures and this guy who was preaching happened to be chosen by Talos (who I am sure is made of metal in Greek mythology, the servant of Hephaestus.) which made him divine and wise. I'm not sure I believe any of what he's saying, after all, I'm an Elf and I haven't stolen anything yet; even though I've been incredibly tempted by that horse outside the stables. Ignoring the preacher (who goes on a lot, I have to admit), I continued to the palace at the top of the hill where I approached the Jarl, respectfully and politely of course. He was very pleased that the Dragon was dead, and that Whiterun was safe from harm for a little while longer. Slouching in his chair, he asked me what else happened during the fight, as if he knew about my new found power - the power that the guards had called that of the Dragonborn. Reluctantly, I told him about what had happened, how I absorbed the Dragon's power and what the guards had called me. The Jarl was intrigued by this and asked if I had heard the rumbling noise from before. I had almost forgotten about it. The noise was deafening and the whole ground shook. I nodded, showing that I did indeed remember the event. The Jarl told me that a special group of people (it's early in the morning, I've forgotten their name) were summoning me. He also told me that nothing like this had happened for many, many years. I could tell that everyone was shocked, even sceptical about what was occurring, but I knew that it was something vital to my destiny. Listening intently, I took in everything the Jarl told me to visit High Hrothgar where they would be waiting for me. I accepted. As I was about to leave, he gave me the title of Thane -  a hero of the land. All the citizens of Whiterun would know who I was and would respect me. Feeling pleased with myself, I thanked the Jarl and bid him goodnight.

Adventuring takes a lot out of you, and I was shattered. I desperately needed sleep, and I could find no where to go. The Drunken Huntsman had no rooms, and whenever I went into an unlocked house someone would scream for the guards. After hours of searching, I arrived at the HQ for the Companions, an elite group with limited membership. I had planned on being a long ranger, but being in need of sleep I decided to do things that no free Elf should ever have to do...I joined the club. I spoke to a guy called Vilkas first, he was a little grouchy, but I thought he was alright. He directed me to his superior, who was next to him. I had a quick chat with him, and in the end I was told to practice fighting with Vilkas outside, which I did. I won that mini battle, no problem there. Vilkas seemed annoyed, but remained respectful and took the defeat like a man. For me to become a full fledged member, I was required to take Vilkas' sword to a blacksmith so that it could be sharpened. So, I began another quest, knowing that I would have a bed by the end of it. It was the thought of warm blankets that kept me going.

After I found the smithy

Warm blankets are a myth, and beds are lost in time. That's what I was thinking as I searched hopelessly for the blacksmith and a bed. I searched so long and hard that night turned to day, and I had gone yet another night without sleep. Exhausted from all my previous battles, I was overjoyed to discover an inn known as the Bannered Mare where I was able to rent a room and take a well deserved rest. By the time I rose from bed, refreshed and full of life, it was dark again, but I no longer cared - I had a blacksmith to look for. I continued around the whole of Whiterun again, but to no avail. It was by luck that I found the smithy, and only because I saw the very corner of the stairs on my way around Companions HQ. I raced up the stairs and chatted to the blacksmith, who was pleased to receive the sword. Once I handed Vilkas' sword over, I was asked to deliver a shield to one of the other Companions, which I did loyally. Once it was done I became a member of the Companions and was given my very own bed (yay!). I was very pleased by this.

I didn't feel like going to my main destination right away, especially as I wanted to buy a house and level up a bit before heading out. So, I accepted a load of side quests that I haven't done yet. I completed two tonight. One was beating up and intimidating a rather vicious woman, and the other required me stealing a book that gave evidence for someone;s kidnap. The others will have to wait.

Beating her up...

Stolen book

Breaking the news to the family

Join me again soon for another Skyrim update. Happy Dragon slaying, readers!

A very tired Valhalla.

Valhalla's struggle

I've had Skyrim for a week and a day, but due to ridiculous amounts of work and my part time job there has been little time to actually sit down and play. So, in the time that I had this evening I figured I deserved a little bit of Dragon action and sat down, milk and biscuits in hand, and my helmet firmly on my head ready to resume my epic adventure.

Even the mightiest warriors need calcium

Once logged onto my game I remembered the difficulty I was having with the gate in Bleak Falls Temple. As I took a moment to think, I realized that my plan had been to visit the path some way back through the cave. Eager to pass the gate, I set on my way. It was easy enough to get there, everything was dead after all. Once I found the path I started to travel down it, only to realize that it led to a dead end. Already frustrated, I was feeling pretty lost in this place. However, I'm a determined Wood Elf and there was no way I was going to give up quickly. So, I made my way back to the gate that cannot be shifted and decided to take a considerably long moment to try and figure it out. That moment went on for longer than it should have, and in the end I had no choice but to reach for my phone to find out what I should do. The answer was right there, so simple and yet ever so confusing. I could have slapped my forehead at that moment. Turns out that I had to shift some scared stones into a certain combination in order to be able to lift the gate. To do this, I needed to look up at the other symbols. Really not that hard.

Snake...Snake...NOOOO, not fish! Not fish!

I was finally through. I looted some nice little chests, slaughtered a few dog-sized rats (they're really quite terrifying) and made my way down a twisty-turney spiral staircase...which I fell down. Once I had landed safely at the bottom of the stairs I kept going forward, looking for the next passage, which I found. I tried to run through the doorway, but some invisible force blocked me from going any further. I tried running into it a few times, but to no avail. Eventually, I got fed up with this forcefield and ended up hacking at it with my mace. Yes, something happened. Turned out it was cobwebs. Webs can only mean one thing, and as I entered my fears were answered.

Sweet mother of...

She was massive. I felt like Frodo trapped in Shelobs lair, except I had no magic elf light to save me. Look at me, an elf who can't use magic. Well, I can but I get confused. Despite being overcome with fear at the sight of this monster I ran straight into her and began hacking and slicing my way through her flesh. Turned out the fight wasn't hard at all. She was dead within seconds. I felt a little pleased with myself there. Once she was dead and checked for decent loot, I came across a man tangled in a web. I can't remember his name, and to be honest he was a real jerk so it doesn't matter that much. Turns out he had the Golden Claw that I was looking for and needed me to cut him down. Foolishly, I agreed to free him and the bastard made off with the loot I needed.

Luckily for me, the idiot was killed my some Skeleton Warriors...but so was I. Actually, I was killed by them about three or four times before I remembered that there was an ultra powerful spell in my bag which I used to burn and destroy them all at once. I felt incredibly powerful (evil laugh). After I killed those guys I had to continue on my journey to find that which I sought (being the dragonstone) and so I made my way through the crypt. Gave me the creeps, really did. It was like the undead would never end. They just kept after me, dragging their bony, rag covered corpses towards me with iron shields and weapons in their hands. Thankfully those weapons weren't blunt seeing as Skeleton Warriors do more damage with blunt swords. I eventually managed to cut my way through the jungle of living corpses, and I was thoroughly creeped out by the whole experience.

Take that!

My corpse. I look noble, even in death

Totally owning this guy

Once I had left the land of the undead and reached the world of glowing mushrooms I happened upon a manky looking chest and decided to check it out. My heart leapt with joy at what I saw before me. My very own horned helmet! Now me and my character match, and that's a pretty awesome thing. I continued on, making my way through the narrow tunnels until I reached a door that required a picture combination similar to the one before, except this door contained pictures of bears, butterflies and birds. It didn't look too hard to figure out, and once I had arranged the symbols it told me that I needed to have the Golden Claw. I thought I had this, turns out I didn't. Much to my irritation I had to go all the way back through the crypt where the now dead undead were scattered and loot the corpse of the guy who tried to run away earlier. I was not impressed. It seemed to take ages for me to get to the corpse I had to loot, especially as I was whimpering and moaning to myself about how creepy the place was. My eyes were practically closed. I'm a little cowardly when it comes to Skeleton Warriors.

I like this place. I thought I'd just insert it here to detract from Skeleton Warrior fear

I got there, I looted the Golden Claw, and after glaring at the body of the man who had initially refused to give it to me, I made my way back to the door with the bears, birds and butterflies. Once there, I rearranged the pictures to the correct combination and watched as the door opened before me, revealing yet another passage. As I ran through a great hall, I thought the quest was finished and so proceeded to jump down from a ledge and return to Skyrim. Yeah, bad idea. Really big mistake there. I wasn't finished, I really needed to go back. Of course, I only realized this when I was lost half way around the mountain. Luckily, I came across some hostile humans and stood there whilst they hacked at my face and torso with their swords and maces. Once dead, I was returned to the exit point and simply walked back inside the mountain.

Wrong combination. Hmmm

Aha!

Now, It's thought to be impossible to get back up and into that great and magnificent hall from the exit point as it's surrounded by high ledges. In fact, it clearly states that you have no choice but to return to the start. I was not going to accept this. It took skill, but I managed to jump up the rocks on the left side and return to the hall from there. This time I took a lot more time to look around until I found the inscriptions on the wall which gave me the power of the dragon shout. As this occurred, an undead dragon-woman-warrior thing jumped out of the coffin behind me. I killed her pretty quickly and looted her, thus receiving the dragonstone and finishing my quest. Now I could use the exit.

I was back on the mountain, the cold and snow filled wind obscuring my vision. I hurriedly made my way back to Whiterun where I handed my quest in to that mysterious yet slightly creepy wizard. As I forgot to plug my headset in, I had no volume, so whatever the wizard was talking about, I missed. Something big happened though as everyone began to race up the stairs. Intrigued, I followed until we reached an older man who began to talk. I missed most of what he said, but when I finally figured out the subtitles I saw that I was to slay my first Dragon along with the evil chick who had blocked my path to the King not so long ago. You have no idea how excited I was about actually slaying my first Dragon. I was like a child who had been told the wonders of sweets for the first time.

Looking at my watch to see that it was past 23:00, I realized that I would not be able to slay a dragon tonight. Disappointment filled me. More than I have ever felt in my life. Dragon slaying will have to wait until next update, so do keep watch for it. After all, slaying your first Dragon is something to share with everyone.

Valhalla