Come, young Barbarian

Yesterday, I embarked on an epic adventure. I began my journey following the footsteps of the great Barbarian himself. Being a fan of the stories, the Marvel comic book series and the old films with Arnold Schwarzenegger (the best Conan, in my opinion) I was eager to start on my long and blood-filled path.

It took two days to download due to my terrible internet speed (people, as most of you may know, AOL sucks), which was painful to say the least. In that time I was unable to play any other MMORPG’s and so my time was dedicated to either watching the download bar or reading beside it. Yes, I’m that sad people. Anyhow, it downloaded eventually.

Creating my first character

I was not willing to pay around £10 a month for this when something like WoW is only £8.99 a month and so opted for the free-to-play. Yeah, what a wide variety of choice I received. I was allowed to be one of two classes out of the 12 that were available to me as I was playing for free. These classes were Guardian and Barbarian. They were pretty much the same in terms of battle type except that the Guardian was able to wear plat and the Barbarian cloth. Having not played a character that wears plate in some time I chose a Guardian and went on to design my character’s look and choose his race.

Something went wrong here...

I was able to choose from three races and opted for the strong and mighty Cimmerian. After that, I was able to go into more intricate design, selecting muscle size, width, height, eye colour, hair style and colour etc. It was really rather elaborate. I was even able to select different body markings and war paint for my new Guardian. I made my character as tall as he could be, with maximum muscle and markings that mean he’s a strong leader. He looks pretty awesome, actually. I then named him Trankin.

Entering the world

When I made my character I was on a ship, rowing with a bunch of other slaves (for I was one as well). Then, my ship was destroyed and I was thrown overboard and into the sea, becoming bound to that location (I assume it’s kind of like your ‘home’ location) as I sank towards the bottom of the sea. Next thing I knew I was awake on a sandy beach and a strange man came and talked to me, telling me that I had to go to the city. I missed most of what happened in that scene as I was distracted by my dog. Despite missing the cinematic scene I was able to figure out how everything worked and set about killing some Picts using the keys 1, 2 and 3 to attack (took me ages to make attacking work). It was relatively easy to kill the tribesmen and I was relatively pleased with my progress. Looking at my minimap I was able to see that the red arrow was leading me to my destination.

It was as I was making my way through the jungle behind the beach that I came across a woman who had been tied to wooden poles. I initiated conversation. The thing I LOVE about this game is that you have a selection of responses to the people that you meet in your adventures. I could be rude or polite to the woman, but as I assumed that I would need her I was kind and caring towards her. She asked me to help her by killing one of the Pict leaders and looting the key that would free her from her chains. I did as she asked, being a compassionate Guardian. It was pretty easy, and I returned to her with hardly a scratch. After releasing her she accompanied me to the city, screaming and cheering every time we encountered an enemy – something I found amusing. We travelled through the jungle, slaying Picts, looting their corpses and exploring our surroundings. It was then that we reached my old slave master, a vile, fat thug. Yeah, I took him down warrior style and left him to die in his own filth. That man disgusts me. Anyway, the gate that led to the city had been right behind him, but it turned out that to get through it I had to slay a demon that was guarding the key. So, with my wench following behind me I slaughtered some more Picts and annihilated the demon that stood in my path with great skill, even my little wench agreed. Once the key was in my hand we made our way back to the gate where we unlocked and opened it.

Fat Oaf...

Beyond the gate were hordes of Gorillas which I fought my way through with my little wench trotting behind, cheering at my epicness. Once we were through that part of the jungle we reached the outskirts of the city and travelled through another, unlocked, gate after which she left me and returned to the city. I was all alone (at this point you should feel sympathy towards me). I followed the path towards the city until I came to the tall stone walls that showed I was there. Outside, was a guard and I was quick to ask him for access to the city. Noticing I was a slave, he refused me access but informed me of a blacksmith I could visit to cut off my chains. I was quick to find him.

Random inserts of me slaying stuff in a kick ass way

The blacksmith asked me to collect some stone blocks for him before he removed my chains and I did as I was asked. He rewarded me with the removal of my bonds and after thanking him went on my way and returned to the guard who let me in pretending not to know me. Before I entered he asked me to deliver a letter to a woman in the Thirsty Dog, which I did. I delivered the letter, chatted to some women and then realized that I was supposed to seek a woman named Nadini. I asked where she was, and was told to travel there at night so that the evil city guards did not spot me. I was careful to do as I was told and waited until nightfall. Nadini was easy enough to find, and she informed me that I should seek training from the keeper at the Thirsty Dog. Thanking her, I returned to the inn and talked to the keeper who told me that he would train me as a warrior once more (apparently I was a warrior who lost my memory. Should not have missed the intro). However, I had to do a quest as payment and so my journey continued as I followed in the footsteps of the great Barbarian himself...

This game is pretty cool. Graphics are a little under average and the fact that free-to-play is so limited really sucks and takes away from the gameplay. It’s too expensive in my opinion, and I’m not willing to pay more than WoW for the game. However, the ability to choose your characters reactions is a brilliant feature and one that I quite enjoy. It’s a game that I will continue playing and update you guys on.

Overall rating from me, Valhalla – 6/10 for the cost and poor graphics.

Sadly Titus was sick tonight and unable to help with the post. Poor Titus. L